You Are Your Actions - The Balance Between Intent and Impact in Leadership

Be More Shark
Jan 14
9 min read

In leadership, the space between intent and impact can often determine whether a leader succeeds in building a credible degree of trust and fostering a healthy, high-performing team. Despite the best intentions, even well-meaning leaders can unintentionally cause harm if they fail to consider how their actions are perceived or the impact they create. This disconnect between intention and outcome can erode relationships, diminish morale, and disrupt the psychological safety that is essential for productive and innovative work environments.

Navigating this delicate balance requires more than good intentions. Leaders must take ownership of their actions and hold themselves accountable for the effects they have on those around them.

The motto of the Sin Eater's Guild, (who’s lanyard I wear each day to work) with the words ‘You Are Your Actions’, encapsulates this well. The Sin Eaters Guild is a community that originated with the goal of promoting the veteran community and the unique mindset that comes from overcoming adversity. The guild embraces the ethos of personal responsibility and service, believing that true growth comes through facing and overcoming challenges.

They define a Sin Eater as: “One who is willing to embrace darkness and suffering freeing his fellow man to enjoy a peaceful life”

This is clearly quite the statement, but reflecting this into the leadership world, we as leaders often become the shield to our team, protecting them from pressures and difficult situations. The guild’s focus on personal responsibility is a crucial lesson for leaders. Taking ownership of one’s actions and their outcomes is essential for effective leadership.

Leadership isn’t just about what we intend to do or how we mean to come across. It’s about how our actions are received and the real impact they have on others. Self-accountability is central to bridging the gap between what we mean to achieve and how it is experienced.

To achieve this, a compassionate leadership approach like our own framework of We Include, We Listen, We Act can be invaluable. Combined with visions from Prof Peters’ Chimp Paradox, Kim Scott’s Radical Candor, and Brene Brown’s Daring Greatly, leaders can better navigate the complex interplay between intent and impact, taking full responsibility for their actions and building an environment where trust and psychological safety thrive.

Whilst listening in to a fascinating talk from Chris Turner this week, he touched on a really powerful facet of psychological safety.

He spoke of a conversation he'd had, where the other person had pointed out -

You cannot create psychological safety. I cannot create psychological safety. We can only co-create it.

Clearly, this creates an absolute need for conscious intent on creating an environment that in turn produces a rapport with each other to create the 'psychological safety' that is so often assumed. It must be therefore created authentically to be credible!

Unpacking the Intent vs Impact Dynamic

Every leader operates with intent, whether it’s to support the team, drive performance, or foster a positive culture. However, even when intentions are well-meaning, the resulting impact can often miss the mark. This gap between intent and impact is where friction arises, and where leadership can falter if not managed properly.

For example, a leader might intend to motivate their team with constructive feedback but deliver it in a way that is perceived as overly critical or dismissive. Similarly, decisions made to increase efficiency might leave certain team members feeling excluded or undervalued. The leader’s good intentions don’t absolve them from the consequences of their actions, and as the motto You Are Your Actions reminds us, it’s the actual outcomes that define our leadership.

In my own leadership experience, I’ve found that this ethos of accountability is essential. My personal leadership philosophy, Every Contact Matters, emphasises that every interaction, no matter how small, will have lasting effects. It’s not enough for me to intend to be supportive or inclusive; I have to ensure that my actions are perceived that way, too. If my impact doesn’t align with my intent, it’s my responsibility to reflect, adjust, and ultimately consciously do better.

Our Compassionate Leadership Framework:

We Include, We Listen, We Act

Compassionate leadership offers a structured way to reduce the disconnect between intent and impact. The framework that we use to define and coach compassionate leadership at our Trust consisting of the three elements of We Include, We Listen, We Act is a powerful tool for cultivating self-accountability and fostering an environment where people feel seen, heard, and supported.

To explain the impact of these, lets dive into these pillars and how they contribute to more meaningful, impactful leadership:

1. We Include

Inclusion is so much more than a leadership buzzword; it’s the foundation of building teams where every member feels valued and essential. When we prioritise inclusion, we make decisions with the understanding that every action affects a diverse group of people with unique perspectives. By including everyone in the process, whether through decision-making, feedback, or simply asking for input, we create a more inclusive environment where people feel respected.

This principle aligns with Brene Brown’s teachings in Daring Greatly. Brown emphasises vulnerability as a strength, not a weakness, especially when it comes to creating inclusive spaces. Vulnerable leaders are those who acknowledge their imperfections and create environments where others feel comfortable doing the same. To lead inclusively is to embrace vulnerability by admitting when we don’t have all the answers and seeking out diverse viewpoints. It’s about ensuring that everyone’s voice is heard and valued, reinforcing the notion that You Are Your Actions, it’s through inclusion that leaders build trust.

In my involvement with Andy’s Man Club, I've seen myself the importance of inclusion when building a space for men to open up about their feelings. A task many considered nearly impossible in environments dominated by a “macho” culture. It wasn’t enough to create the space and hope people would feel safe to talk; we had to consciously include and welcome every individual, creating a culture where their experiences and emotions were valued. The results were profound, with many finding their voices for the first time. This is the power of inclusive leadership in action.

2. We Listen

Listening is the core of compassionate leadership and key to aligning intent with impact. When we listen deeply and attentively, we move beyond hearing words to understanding the emotions, needs, and concerns behind them. Listening isn’t passive; it’s an active, empathetic process that requires leaders to put their assumptions aside and truly focus on the person speaking.

Kim Scott’s Radical Candor builds on this idea by advocating for leaders to both care personally and challenge directly. When we listen with genuine care, we can provide feedback in a way that is constructive and aligned with the needs of our team members. It’s through listening that we can truly understand how our actions affect others and adjust our leadership style to better serve them.

For example, I reflect on a time when I thought I was providing helpful feedback to a team member by being direct and clear about areas for improvement. My intention was to help them grow, but their response told me a different story. They felt singled out and unsupported. It wasn’t until I took the time to listen to their perspective that I realised the disconnect. By listening more deeply, I was able to offer feedback that was still direct but came from a place of care and understanding. The impact of this shift was immediate; not only did our working relationship improve, but their performance did as well.

In leadership, it’s not just about giving people the space to speak, it’s about truly hearing them. This is how we build psychological safety, where team members feel secure in voicing concerns, knowing they will be heard without judgment.

3. We Act

Finally, action is the culmination of inclusive, compassionate leadership. If we include and listen but fail to act, we undermine the trust we’ve built. Action is where intent and impact meet. It’s the leader’s opportunity to demonstrate that they’ve understood the needs of their team and are committed to addressing them.

But action isn’t a one-time event. It’s an ongoing process of assessing impact, making adjustments, and responding to feedback. Leaders who act with accountability recognise that their initial response may not always land as intended, and they remain open to course correction.

In my own leadership journey, I’ve had moments where I acted quickly, driven by a desire to solve a problem, and very often fuelled by a Hyperfocus which is how my brain works best in full ‘pace’ mode, only to later realise that my actions had unintended consequences. For example, when launching the new leadership strategy on a contract I was managing, I was eager to push the project forward, sometimes moving too quickly for those around me. My intent was to create a supportive space, but the impact was that some team members felt overwhelmed or left behind. It took humility and accountability to acknowledge this gap and adjust my approach, ensuring that everyone was on board and that my actions aligned with the inclusive, compassionate culture I aimed to build.

Prof Peters’ Chimp Paradox offers insight into why these gaps between intent and impact can occur. His model explains how our rational mind (the Human) and our emotional mind (the Chimp) often struggle for control, especially in high-pressure situations. When the Chimp, (our emotional, impulsive side) takes over, our actions can be reactive, driven by fear or frustration, even if our intent was positive. As leaders, recognising when our Chimp is in control allows us to step back, reassess, and act from a place of thoughtfulness rather than emotion.

Building Psychological Safety Through Radical Candor

One of the most important elements of aligning intent with impact is fostering a culture of psychological safety, where team members feel secure in voicing concerns, giving feedback, and challenging decisions without fear of reprisal. Kim Scott’s Radical Candor provides a powerful framework for creating such a culture. By caring personally and challenging directly, leaders can create environments where honesty and kindness coexist, enabling real growth and strong relationships.

In practice, Radical Candor means that as a leader, you are responsible for not only ensuring your feedback is candid but also delivered with empathy. It also means being open to receiving feedback and willing to adjust your actions when the impact doesn’t align with your intentions. In this way, leaders hold themselves accountable to the same standard they expect from their teams, again reinforcing the ethos that You Are Your Actions.

In my leadership roles, I’ve seen the transformative power of psychological safety. When I introduced compassionate leadership into a corporate firm, it was a bold move that challenged the deeply ingrained norms of masculinity and silence around leadership interactions. To make this shift, the senior team had to build an environment where staff felt completely safe to ring ideas, innovate and express themselves without fear of judgment or repercussions. The result was a profound cultural transformation. It realised an open culture where people felt more connected and supported. Psychological safety became the cornerstone of this success.

Vulnerability and Courage: Lessons from Brene Brown

Brene Brown’s work in Daring Greatly highlights vulnerability as an essential component of effective leadership. Contrary to popular belief, vulnerability is not a weakness but a strength, but one that opens the door to creativity, innovation, and trust. In the context of intent and impact, vulnerability allows leaders to admit when their actions have not had the desired effect and to ask for feedback on how to improve.

As leaders, embracing vulnerability means acknowledging that we don’t always have all the answers and that we can, and should learn from our mistakes. It’s about recognising when our intent doesn’t match our impact and being courageous enough to make adjustments. Vulnerability holds us accountable, ensuring that we continuously reflect on the real outcomes of our decisions and actions, rather than hiding behind good intentions.

In my leadership journey, vulnerability has been key to creating spaces where people feel truly valued and heard. These moments of openness allowed me to build trust with those around me and to course-correct when needed. Without vulnerability, leadership risks becoming rigid and disconnected from the reality of its impact.

The Role of Peer Mentoring and a Just Culture

Peer mentoring plays a crucial role in closing the gap between intent and impact. Having trusted colleagues who can offer honest feedback, share experiences, and provide perspective can help leaders see the full picture of their actions and their effects. Mentoring relationships foster mutual growth, where both parties learn from one another and can hold each other accountable.

Moreover, embracing a just and learning culture further reinforces this principle. In a just culture, mistakes are seen not as failures but as opportunities for learning and growth. Leaders in such cultures encourage open dialogue, learning from missteps, and taking action to improve. This creates an environment where the intent is always evaluated against the impact, and adjustments are made to ensure alignment.

In my experience as both a leader and a mentor, I’ve found that creating this type of culture not only improves individual performance but also strengthens the team dynamic. When people feel safe to admit mistakes and reflect on their actions without fear of blame, they become more willing to take risks, innovate, and support one another.

You Are Your Actions -

Bridging the Gap Between Intent and Impact

Finally, leadership is about more than having good intentions. It’s about recognising that You Are Your Actions and holding yourself accountable for the impact you have on those around you. By embracing a compassionate leadership framework, We Include, We Listen, We Act, and incorporating the insights of Prof Peters, Kim Scott, and Brene Brown, leaders can navigate the complex relationship between intent and impact with grace, empathy, and effectiveness.

It is through vulnerability, radical candour, and a commitment to continuous learning that leaders can build teams that are not only productive but also psychologically safe and deeply connected. Every action we take, every decision we make, contributes to the culture we create. As leaders, it is our responsibility to ensure that our impact reflects our highest intentions.